We are down to about 20 copies available of the 2008 Coffee Table Book. It is a hard covered book filled with inspirational stories and photos of 21 different cancer survivors.

It makes a fabulous gift for someone who needs a pick-me-up, or for someone who has struggled through a battle with cancer.

You can pick up your copy at Outside the Lines on Quinpool Road in Halifax, or during the month of April, at Atlantic Photo Supply on Spring Garden Road.

Price is $75 with a portion of proceeds going to the Cancer Society.

Just a quick note to let you all know that Young & Fearless has a window display for April, Cancer Awareness Month, at Atlantic Photo Supply on Spring Garden Road in Halifax. Drop by to view pictures of Kayleigh Mackay, one of the 2009 Participants.

Well everyone a small break from the beginnings of my journey and lets visit whats going on now and in the last couple months. I was diagnosed the end of November and hospitalized for a while in December with Chronic Graft vs. Host Disease (GVH), I’m writing this from a hospital bed after being admitted again today.

I figure I’ll tell you a little about graft vs. host and what it means for me having it. There are two kind of branches of GVH, acute (within the first 100 days post transplant) and chronic (post 100 days after transplant).  Good starting point would be the rest of the name, graft (the new immune system, my transplanted bone marrow) vs. Host (ME). The name couldn’t be more perfect, the graft, my immune system doesn’t recognize me and it is attacking me like I’m a virus or an infection it needs to get rid of.

In November when I first got the GVH it affected my skin, mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach, intestines, digestive tract,  vagina, right from the in to the outs. My torso was covered in a rash, I had sores and blisters all in my mouth, extreem dryness can’t swallow, nausea, vomiting, liquid diareah I actually stopped peeing entirely. I had extreem exhaustion weakness, fatihue, just if you can think of somethng being wrong it was. lol I dropped 35 lbs that month. So it was all bad all the time. In addition to my immune system freaking out and attacking my body, I was dealing with all the consequences and side effects of the damage being done; not eating, rapid uncontrolled weight loss, collapsing, pain, confusion, dissorientation. Feeling like your dying, the fear and unknowing what is going on. oooh I hate thinking about it sometimes, very unsetteling, and it was only a couple months ago. MASSIVE doses of meds that make you feel terrible, world of nasty side effects that go with them, daily visits to the hospital for hours of treatments, when not admitted to a room. Slowly slowly I got better, meds got lowered things kept improving.  Little bit of life getting back in more good days than extreem bad ones.  The GVH still attacking my mouth and throat so I have a lot of eating problems, I’m working really hard on eating so I stop dropping weight, I don’t produce saliva, or tears so my eyes are messed up and cause me a lot of trouble. I’ve actually had to have my right tear duck plugged, next month I get it cauterized to help with the dryness, might have to get glasses damage might have been done we don’t know yet. GVH can cause catteracts, corneas have had to be transplanted blah blah blah.

So I still have and am batteling the GVH, in addition to the things we have a handle on and a treatment plan in place for, other stuff comes up at any time. Like now GVH is attacking my lungs. I had a biopsy last week and we are waiting on the results to see what we can do to stop the damage being done, is there anything to treat what has been damaged, and what do we do to help deal with what can’t be repaired. The lungs are a huge issue right now, obviously I’m in the hospital, so it’s far too risky for me not having constant medical suppervision and top of the line button away help. No worries of infections and stuff like that more passing out, extreme resperatory distress and the dangers from that. There has been a massive strain added to my heart as well, it gets racing and I can’t get it back to a regulated level. Imagine when someone scares you, or you get to that cardio level at the gym and you can’t work out and talk at the same time it’s too hard, your heart is racing, breathing crazy heavy. Well that happens to me walking down the hall or attempting a couple stairs. It at times takes 45 mins of me laying down focused on deep breathing with my eyes closed to recover to a normal safe rate. Not so much fun, terrifying actually.

Other things can pop up at anytime as well, like if I get a mild sunburn I could get covered in a rash, my vagina can freak out rashes, dryness, lady troubles you can’t even imagine just because. Pretty much if something causes my immune system to notice something about my body and the system kind of focuses on that part of the body, it can and possible will hurt me. If you have ever seen the X-Men movies a good example is where the doctor gut puts on his helmet to find other mutants. If he concentrated too hard on them he will hurt them and kill them.

I have the GVH chronically meaning that this is something that I will have to be aware of for the rest of my life. Maybe active management like how I’m going to have to use eye drops to replace not making tears, and watching out to protect my skin from the sun. To at any time for no reason I could have a big unexpected flare up in any of my organs that could equal medication, hospitalization and the like. Or on the other hand when I get this all taken care of I might never have another flare up or worry with it. 

so I hope this helped a little questions more info wanted from someone who has a good chance of having it ask away. I’ll tell you any and everything you might want to know. Nothing too embarrassing I’ll totally spill any details you think you want. Information will give you power and strength.

communityheraldapril131

Didn’t sleep very well, don’t suppose that happends in hospitals that you ever feel nice and rested up. First mornng with the nurses, weight, temperature, blood pressure and  oxygen levels. Lets blow some time checking out the floor I’m on, oncology information, cancer support booklets??? Do the doctors think I have cancer or was this just the only space they had to stick me for the night.

Check it out this doctor has cowboy boots, “nut huggers” and a nice cotton button up shirt. Dr. Haines. He says something about bone marrow test. Sure I can handle that, pain is nothing new here I can deal. Wish someone was here with me it’s scarry, just tough it out kid.

Wow excrutiating pain, I can feel the blood running like an open faucet down my back. Slicing, sharp threw my flesh burning, pressuse, pain, pain, pain. Holy crap don’t move Erin! The doctor needs samples of the marrow in your hip, don’t move, DON”T MOVE.

Next thing I remember was “Mrs. Burgess you have what we call Acute Promeylocitic Leukemia. It’s very treatable and we expect the best turn out fom the situation.”

Ok I have cancer. I have…cancer; CANCER?       no party better get the word out, call my cousin Shannon, start calling my friends. Figure out what the hell I’m going to do to cover work. I have cancer. DAMN I’ve been growing my hair out for years now, I was going to finally have nice long hair after years of mohawks, drunken chop jobs, dread locks and all the rest. Oh well it’ll grow back…. again.

Doctors are back, we’re starting treatment as soon as possible. Have to get a main line put into my arm for drugs, blood, and fluid. Starting blood and platelet transfusions today so they can start giving me chemotherapy. How do people get APL? I don’t smoke, I eat healthy, I have a drink occassionally, I’ve lived a colourful life but don’t do anything that gives people cancer. Turns out there is no way to predict who will get APL, no way to prevent it. Two of your chromasomes just start travelling to the wrong receptors and you’re sick.

In a couple days after i recieve several transfisions I’ll start getting Citarabine and Donarubicine chemo. And I’ll learn what sick can really mean. For now I’m 24 and I have cancer.

When our daughter Erin was first diagnosed with Cancer, it seemed like everything was being told to me from thousands of miles away… and that they were talking in a different language.  They must be, this is my beautiful daughter you are talking about, so there must be a mixup…that was my hope.  It was not to be.. and so began our journey.  What a journey it was.  We were to take part in something we had no desire to know about, or be part of.  When the doctor told us about the treatment plan, he explained things very well, and at the end he said “So how does that sound?”  It didn’t sound good and we had no choice in the matter.. that was my reply.  Through this I have learned what amazing strength our children have, and how they can hold up mountains in the midst of the darkest hour.  My daughter is my hero.  The journey wasn’t one I would wish on anyone, but having been through it, it is certainly inspiring.  Everyone is touched by Cancer in some form and on some level.. I know you can understand.

~ Karen

I was introduced to the Y&F project last year when Shari held the presentation of the Art Show at Queen Street Studios, where I work. The opening of that show was so moving and heart warming that I dearly wanted to be a bigger part of it in 2009.

Helping with this project gives me more then just a warm and fuzzy feeling inside, it has lifted me to a higher level during the darkness and the gloom of winter. Giving my time to this project has helped me feel closer to my dad who passed away four years ago to Cancer and its made me appreciate my mother that much more for kicking Breast Cancer’s butt a few years ago. That’s why Y&F for me.

Cheers,
~Amy

“Everyone has a story,” Nova Johnstone told me when I interviewed her for the Young & Fearless project. A simple statement, but it stuck with me for weeks, even until now. Everyone has a story. There is more to a person than our first impression, our first introduction to them. And I have always wanted to know.

I have been lucky enough, through this project, to be immediately thrust into the stories of strangers, people who I would not have met any other way and whose story I may never have heard at all. That is why I got involved, for the writer in me, the curious documentarian who wanted to be a part of the creative experience. I have been touched by cancer, as most people have, but through the tragedy of others. It is not what drew me here. It was the stories.

Now, being in the midst of it, I am constantly amazed at the people I have met, and am inspired, not by what they came through, necessarily, but how. Average people facing challenges and finding something positive and strong within themselves, that is what speaks to me, the strength of people like me.

The survivors I have interviewed tell me truths that exemplify how I aspire to live my life. Be positive. Life is too short. You can do anything. Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve from life. They are mantras we hear all the time, and yet it takes a survivor to tell me, hell yea! Life IS too short. In my day to day life, my little challenges in my job, in relationships, in figuring out where I want this life to go, I find myself thinking lately on the words of different survivors I have spoken with and I find myself thinking, hell yea! It’s time to grab life by the balls and hang on.

Whether you are just waking up on this lovely sunny Saturday morning (well, here in Halifax anyway), or if you’ve been up for hours … You should take 30 seconds to be thankful for something positive in your life. Whether you are sick, or healthy, going through divorce, or have just lost a loved one you still have something to be thankful for.

Find one positive thing in your life, no matter how small and concentrate on it … even just for a moment.

Time and time again the survivors who have participated in the Young & Fearless show remind me that you have to keep a positive attitude and that you need to be thankful for what you have. I am thankful for my home, my friends and family and for the inspiration that I find daily in this project.

What are you thankful for?

Wow Al (my husband) and I have been living in our very own house not renting for five great months now. Can’t believe it sometimes. We’ve been married 13 months and we now own a house! Al’s favorite time of year is Halloween so here we are planning a BIG OL PARTY, most of our friends haven’t seen our place, tonnes of people are coming out, we have a huge yard and a whole house!!! This is going to be great!

I work too much running a store (wonder how many times I’ll hear from my staff on my only weekday off in two months lol. I have a bunch of last minute errands to run to make sure this party is the best celebration it could be. Gotta get some normal blood work to check to see if I ovulate regularly (supposed to do it last month… didn’t get arround to it). The weather is nice a breeze but not cold the wind smells amazing and clean.

Sitting at the hospital waiting my turn, make s list so you don’t forget stuff, party is tomorrow night. Top of the must get list JELLO, I have lots of little ketchup cups to make jello shooters for the party. I’m going to make skelleton ginger bread cookies as well, get lots of hot dogs and chips for food. My turn, and five mins later, I’m back out in the gorgeous day to do my running arround.

Grocery store, dollar store, stop in to work, run to the bank, once more back into work and I’m going home! answering machine is flashing, take care of other stuff first, messages aren’t going anywhere. Feed the dogs, take everyone out after they eat,  tidy up a little and lets get to the baking and party jello making! Get out bowl to mix powder, water and booze; measuring cup, trays to put all these little cups of colourful home cooking on, fill and turn on the kettle. Oh right the answering machine, press play “you have three new messages.”  Message one ” Hello Erin this is Dr. Bouzayens’ office at the fertility clinic calling. There was some unusual results f rom your blood work give us a call.” BEEP Message two ” This is the fertility clinic calling again, it’s very important you call us back.” BEEP Message three “Erin we haven’t been able to get a hold of you today. Your blood work has some very concerning results, it is dangerous for you to be out in public right now. Get to emergency as soon as you get this, they are waiting for you.”

HOLY $HIT!!!!!! Emergency room here I come. I feel fine probably nothing just a mess up. I get the royal treatment, no waiting they bring me right in and re-take my blood, no problem I’ve got good veins. Wow a whole team of  student doctors asking bunches of questions. Hours pass. Past high risk behaviour, relationships, drugs, the whole nine yards. Blood results back, run the tests again more hours pass: no I haven’t been feeling out of the ordinary; I don’t think. I work everyday, go in early, leave late, sort issues out for my staff, take care of my pets and house. Have I really been feeling ok? I haven’t been eating, not hungry at all this week, planning a big party it’s stress and being pre-occipied right? More hours pass, what your going to admit me. I have a BIG party tomorrow my husband has been looking forward to this for months.

Victoria General Hospital, Cenntennial Building 8th floor room 15. Wait fir the morning.

- Erin Burgess